This was an original entry in maid marian's old journal which I felt was worth publishing in her blog
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For some reason i was much more nervous about going to my second BDSM event on the Gold Coast last night than when making my BDSM debut with my Mistress the previous week. i could not believe that i put my posture collar on upside down – i think that goes to show just how much more nervous i was last night. Although i was more nervous prior to going to the event, once W/we arrived i felt completely relaxed and at home and had a wonderful time. i have been very surprised just how comfortable and relaxed i have felt in public in feminine mode as Mistress Adira’s maid. i never thought i could ever feel this natural in feminine mode – i enjoy exploring my feminine side because there is so much to learn and experience, it is a most exciting part of my training.

Within a few minutes of arriving people were interested in looking at my petticoat and uniform and made me feel very special and that made me feel as though i was displaying some feminine traits and behaviours as i showed off my petticoat and uniform to whoever wanted to look. i was even used on a couple of occasions to do some serving – what a great thrill for a maid. Mistress Adira kept me busy for most of the night tending to her needs and wants and i managed to stay in my heels for at least 7 hours. i am surprised just how easy i find wearing my heels at such an event for such a long time. There is no way i could wear my heels for that long at home but when i am out with Mistress it is so easy. And although the balls of my feet were on fire at times, generally speaking they were fine and i felt as though i could have remained in my heels for another few hours!

i was very chuffed to receive some nice comments about my calves and legs – fancy maid marian receiving compliments about the shape of her body. If only somehow i could lose my tummy and get a waist that would be sensational as all woman love to have curves. i am even starting to think like a female now, worrying about my figure - what next! Mistress amazes me just how she notices every thing that i do. i made one mistake last night and leant against a pole for about 10 minutes (i think it was 10 minutes) and Mistress Adira pounced. There is no escape from the gaze of my Mistress it is almost like she has eyes in the back of her head. Still i do not get into trouble if i behave and a small lapse in concentration was slightly embarrassing in what was a otherwise a great night. 

i enjoyed being the focus of attention for a few minutes this week unlike last week when i was being the centre of attention when i had to suffer a public punishment. The humiliation of being punished in public meant there was no enjoyment for me as i was utterly ashamed of myself that i had to be punished in public - everybody knew i had been naughty and that is not good for a person trying to lead the life of a slave. Last night i became the focus of attention because of a small lapse in concentration. i did not have the same feelings as last week as i did not feel as though this was a punishment although it may have felt like a punishment if i was locked in the cage and just left ignored by everybody. That may have been a different situation and much more embarrassing for me. 

i have always been excited and there is something fascinating about being locked in a cage – all my freedom is taken away from me and i am left at the complete mercy of my Mistress especially when the cage is locked and i could remain in there for 5 minutes, 5 hours or 5 days. There is absolute no way of escape from a locked cage and i suppose it is the adrenalin rush i get with that ultimate taking of my freedom to be locked in a cage which excites me greatly. It was a sensational feeling to be spun around, around, around and around and it felt like i was on a giant roller coaster ride whizzing around up and down at times i felt like i was almost upside down.

It is hard to unwind after a great time with my Mistress as a slave and arriving home about 2.30am last night what do i do? i want to play with my Mistress' cock! i want to play with my nipples, i want to cum and yet i am not permitted to do any of these things. my level of frustration at being in voluntary (well i may call it forced) chastity reached new heights this morning. i have never been more tempted to break my chastity as i was this morning. it was an incredible feeling as i battled with my body to see what would win - my brain or my Mistress’ cock! i am glad that my brain eventually won instead of my Mistress’ cock but it was a very close call as i know that i have saved myself from a probable severe caning (although i am sure it was a strong motivator for my decision in the end). It would be just so disrespectful for me to do something like that to Mistress Adira. As a slave i have to learn that what i want does not matter and can no longer be important to me and i only do what my Goddess wants and in the end i am very relieved and pleased that although i was tempted, very tempted, i maintained my sanity and control which i hope is a positive sign that i am beginning to understand what my life is now all about. And this is only going to be re-enforced from March 31 when slave trevor no longer exists and my incredible life as Mistress Adira’s slave begins in earnest.

Whilst other slaves woke up this morning smiling because they had received a good flogging or whatever else they are into, i woke up with a huge smile on my face with every muscle in the lower half of my body aching from wearing heels for 7 hours and being Mistress Adira’s maid. It has been fascinating to see so many people’s fetishes and what excites them. i think that is the best part about BDSM, that everybody gets excited about different aspects but i consider that i am more fortunate than most other slaves as i can honestly say, that i do not restrict myself to just one area of BDSM and i do not have any restrictions as to what i will or will not do. i think this keeps my level of excitement and anticipation at fever pitch all of the time as i never know what will happen next and there is no chance for complacency or lack of enthusiasm on my behalf.